every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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