Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
