I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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