I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
