somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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