his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
