i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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