Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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