dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
