Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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