I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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