I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
