i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
