Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
