I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
