i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
