What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
