apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
how does that bad decision feel?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
