Well douche your snatch and let's go!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
