in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
