Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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