I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
