i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
false alarm, still single
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