This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
