The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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