Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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