Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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