whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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