i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
