so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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