This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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