I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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