I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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