she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She's the barista slut.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you had me at cake vodka
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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