Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
