the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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