One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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