If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
