i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
