gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
