Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
