sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
