I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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