There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
