So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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