2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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