That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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