I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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