ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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