Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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