I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
