pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
