I'm jealous of your bromance
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
