I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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