im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
