we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
