people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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