I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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