And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
