Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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