I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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