If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
