fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
