no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
